What they say

“She is prettier and more educated than I am.”

“I am worthless and unlovable.”

“His job is better than mine and pays way better than mine.”

“Wow! Great husband! Beautiful, smart and respectful children! Handsome, charming and successful husband!”

On and on we go on the merry go round of thoughts in our mind. Like a windmill, our minds just can’t seem to stop “running!” We compare and contrast not only ourselves but other people too. Why is it so hard to just look at ourselves and see something positive?


Our circumstances, background, present and past experiences, financial life and several other aspects of our lives are just TOO REAL to IGNORE! We just can’t help but put a definition on what  success should be or is.

“I am Comfort and I am an Accountant.”

“I am the wife of so and so.”

“Mr. So and so is my father.” So… should people treat us better as a result?

I admit that there are some things you cannot get away from as far as “titles” and “labels” are concerned especially with education and family backgrounds.

But what is amazing is that, we depend on what others say success is. Why do we place ourselves on a platform to be examined daily by other people? Why do we willingly place ourselves on a stage just to hear what people say we are, take it in, be happy or sad afterwards because we ACCEPT whatever comes from such “evaluation?”

It took me years to see this truth. As I write this, my heart aches for my younger self whose happiness and peace came from how people treated her, including family members and people from church. If they hurt me, I apologise just to get their approval and fake appraisals. My self-confidence died under the weight of trying to be a people’s pleaser not in the sense of “follow the crowd” but allowing their WORDS which was negative and untruthful to define who I was.

“You are a witch! You can’t do me no harm!”

“You are so evil and wicked falling sick all the time and draining your parent’s finances.”

“You are selfish and don’t bother about others. You think you are smart.”

This is just a scratch on the surface on some of the terms that defined me growing up and made my heart a “doormat” for certain people.


God is reminding us today in so many ways especially in His Holy Word that nothing in this world can tell us who we are. People can show you your flaws and correct you but should do so gently and lovingly. People should observe negativity in you and do something about it (Pray for starters). They should see your challenges and find solutions not change your name to what it is  (Sickler! Witch! Diabetic! Stubborn! Promiscuous! etc.)

You are not that sickness! You are not your Master’s Degree! You are not the Billionaire’s trophy wife! You are not your job title! You are not your past mistakes! You are not any of your failures or achievements!

You are God’s Princes and Princesses; A Chosen generation; A Royal Priesthood (1 Peter 2:9). You are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139:14). You are loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). You will never be left behind or forsaken (Psalm 27:10). God has called you by name, you are His (Isaiah 43:1)!

Soak in God’s word when the devil or anyone tries to remind you of what you were, who you are at present and what they think you will become. Surrender your life and all to Jesus. Let Him wash away your past pain, failures and mistakes. Allow Him to give you a brand new beginning. Allow Him to heal your broken heart and spirit. Allow Him to make you whole again. You are not sick! You are not mentally insane! You like many are broken, hurt, disturbed, unstable and in need of just one touch of love from God.

Christians, let us reflect God’s love. Show the love God has given you to others. Stop trying to fix and “perfect” only what God can. Judge righteously with the intention to build and not destroy (Galatians 6:1-3). Be an imitator of Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2).

I leave you all under the precious grace of God. Never give up on yourself. Re-define yourself by renewing your mind in God’s word and love. You are not alone. You are loved and have a divine purpose. Wait for that great manifestation of what God has planted inside of you (Jeremiah 1: 5; Jeremiah 29:11, Habakkuk 2:3 and Proverbs 16:3.)

Much love from your sister, friend and daughter in Christ. Remain in the sunshine of God’s love.